Blending Traditions: Navigating Homesickness as an Expat Mom

The bittersweet journey of expat moms balancing homesickness and creating new traditions. Find tips to blend cultures and stay connected to home.

There is a moment every expat mom experiences. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Maybe it happens during a quiet evening when the house feels too still, or perhaps it is when you are planning a special holiday and realize how much you miss the traditions you grew up with. It is that bittersweet ache of missing home while trying to create a new one.

This feeling hit me hard this past Christmas. My sister came to visit, and we decided to make it a celebration that blended both of our worlds. On December 24th, we embraced the German tradition of gathering for a schnitzel dinner with family. Then, on the 25th, we honoured our Canadian roots with a traditional Christmas bird and all the fixings, after opening gifts together. It was beautiful and heartwarming, but it also reminded me of how much I miss the chaos and comfort of being surrounded by my whole family back in Canada.

Being an expat mom means constantly walking the line between two worlds. You are trying to hold on to the traditions and memories that shaped you while also embracing the new culture you are raising your child in. It is a delicate balancing act, and sometimes it feels like you are not doing enough on either side.

Homesickness Hits Harder When You Are a Mom

Before I became a mother, homesickness came and went. I missed my family and friends, but I was also busy building a life abroad. I could distract myself with work, travel, or new experiences.

After Wyatt was born, everything changed. Suddenly, I was not just missing home. I was grieving the absence of the people who were such an important part of my own childhood. My parents and grandparents are no longer with us, and the ache of their absence feels even sharper now that I am a parent myself. I often think about how much they would have loved to see Wyatt grow up, to share their stories, and to pass down the traditions that shaped me.

At the same time, I was trying to create new traditions for Wyatt here in Germany. I wanted him to feel connected to this new home we were building, to embrace the culture and language that would shape his early years. But in trying to do both, I often felt like I was falling short.

Blending Traditions: The Beauty of Two Worlds

Over time, I have learned that it is not about choosing one culture over the other. It is about blending the two in a way that feels authentic to our family.

Take holidays, for example. Instead of trying to recreate every tradition from my childhood, I have started combining elements from both cultures. This past Christmas, we celebrated twice. On December 24th, we enjoyed a German-style Christmas Eve with schnitzel and family time. Then, on the 25th, we cooked a Canadian Christmas bird with all the trimmings, laughing and reminiscing about holidays back home as we opened gifts together.

It is not always easy, and it does not always go perfectly. But I have found that these blended traditions often create the most meaningful memories. They remind me that home is not just a place. It is something we build with the people we love.

Staying Connected to Home in Spirit

Even though my parents and grandparents are no longer here, I have found ways to keep their memory alive and stay connected to the home they created for me. These little rituals and habits help bridge the gap between where I am and where I come from.

Recreating Family Recipes:
Food has a way of bringing us back to the places we miss. Cooking a Christmas bird this year with my sister was one of those moments where I felt like I was bringing a piece of Canada into our life abroad. Even though my parents are no longer here to guide me, every dish I make feels like a connection to them.
Sharing Stories with Wyatt:
I often find myself telling Wyatt stories about his grandparents and great-grandparents. I tell him about my mom’s love for baking, my grandma’s sense of humor, and the way my family would light up the room during the holidays. These stories are my way of keeping their legacy alive and helping Wyatt feel connected to the family he will never meet.
Creating New Traditions Inspired by the Past:
While I cannot recreate the exact holidays I had growing up, I can take inspiration from them. Whether it is singing a lullaby my mom used to sing to me or decorating with ornaments my grandparents passed down, these small acts help me feel close to them, even from afar.
Honoring Their Memory:
During special moments, like Christmas dinner or Wyatt’s birthday, I take a quiet moment to think about my parents and grandparents. Sometimes I will light a candle for them or say a little prayer of gratitude for the love and lessons they gave me.

Creating a New Definition of Home

As expat moms, we often put so much pressure on ourselves to do it all. We want to recreate the perfect version of home while also embracing the new culture we are living in. But the truth is, home is not about perfection. It is about love, connection, and the memories we create with our families.

I still miss Canada. I miss the smell of my mom’s kitchen, the sound of snow crunching under my boots, and the feeling of being surrounded by people who have known me my whole life. But I have also come to love the life we are building here in Germany. I love the way Wyatt’s face lights up when we visit a Christmas market, the sound of him learning German words 'Neh', and the new traditions we are creating together.

Home, I have realized, is not a single place or a set of traditions. It is a feeling we carry with us, no matter where we are.

Your Action Plan for Staying Connected

If you are struggling with homesickness or the absence of loved ones while trying to create a sense of home abroad, here are a few ideas to help you find balance:

Start Small:
Instead of trying to recreate every tradition from home, focus on one or two that mean the most to you. Whether it is a favourite recipe, a holiday ritual, or a quiet moment to honour loved ones, these small acts can make a big difference.
Blend Old and New:
Look for ways to combine traditions from your home culture with those of your new country. This can create unique and meaningful experiences for your family.
Share Stories and Memories:
Even if your loved ones are no longer with you, their stories and lessons can live on through you. Share them with your children, friends, or even in a journal.
Focus on What Matters Most:
At the end of the day, it is not about perfectly recreating the past. It is about creating a sense of love, security, and belonging for your family.
Use Tools to Stay Organized:
If you are feeling overwhelmed, tools like The Chaos Audit Workbook can help you identify what is most important and create a plan to focus on what truly matters.

Final Thoughts

Missing home while creating a new one is one of the hardest parts of being an expat mom. It is okay to feel the ache of homesickness, and it is okay to grieve the absence of loved ones who are no longer here. But remember, you are not alone in this journey.

Every time you share a family recipe, tell a story about your loved ones, or create a new tradition, you are building something beautiful for your family. You are showing them that home is not just a place. It is the love and connection we carry with us, no matter where we are.

You have got this, mama.

Categories: : Expat Mom Life